The Guardian: “I saw a piece in the New York Times claiming that the red Alexander McQueen dress Michelle Obama wore to last week’s state dinner for President Hu Jintao of China “sent out a number of signals. Fortunately, they were not mixed.” But what, precisely, were these signals?” Adam, by email
That she likes red? And she likes long dresses? And she’s fond of Alexander McQueen? Really, Adam, fashion isn’t quite as difficult to fathom as you seem to think. Or isn’t it . . . ?
Let us look at this from the perspective of someone who perceives conspiracy in the most seemingly innocent of places. I speak, of course, of Fox News’s highly imitable Glenn Beck. So give me a second while I don Beck’s famous glasses so I can see the world through his eyes.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what a terrifying world this is! Communists and Nazis beset me on all sides! And, oh my God, Michelle Obama’s dress! You know who else liked to wear red? Communists. Kill your grandparents and take your money.
And do you know who also wears long dresses? Fanatical Muslim women who want to bomb your house. And Alexander McQueen! Do you know who he was friends with? Kate Moss. And what was Kate Moss once caught doing? Taking drugs. Oh my God, the signals that dress is sending are that Michelle Obama is a communist fanatical Muslim who likes to freebase! America, save yourself!