29
Apr
13

The WHCD zingers

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How do you like my new entrance music? Rush Limbaugh warned you about this – second term, baby. We’re changing things around here a little bit.

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Everybody loves Michelle. She’s on the cover of Vogue, high poll numbers. But don’t worry – I recently got my own magazine cover.

*****

These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be. Time passes. You get a little gray.

****

****

Even after all this time, I still make rookie mistakes. Like, I’m out in California, we’re at a fundraiser, we’re having a nice time. I happen to mention that Kamala Harris is the best-looking attorney general in the country. As you might imagine, I got trouble when I got back home. Who knew Eric Holder was so sensitive?

****

And then there’s the Easter Egg Roll, which is supposed to be just a nice, fun event with the kids. I go out on the basketball court, took 22 shots – made two of them. That’s right: two hits, 20 misses. The executives at NBC asked, “What’s your secret?”

****

Anyway, I recognize that this job can take a toll on you. I understand – second term, you need a burst of new energy, try some new things. And my team and I talked about it. We were willing to try anything. So we borrowed one of Michelle’s tricks. I thought this looked pretty good, but no bounce.

****

I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides of a story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.

****

But the problem is, is that the media landscape is changing so rapidly. You can’t keep up with it. I mean, I remember when BuzzFeed was just something I did in college around 2:00 a.m. It’s true.

****

****

But part of the problem is everybody is so cynical. I mean, we’re constantly feeding cynicism, suspicion, conspiracies. You remember a few months ago, my administration put out a photograph of me going skeet shooting at Camp David? You remember that? And quite a number of people insisted that this had been photoshopped. But tonight I have something to confess: You were right. Guys, can we show them the actual photo? We were just trying to tone it down a little bit. That was an awesome day.

****

Did you know that Sheldon Adelson spent $100 million of his own money last year on negative ads? You’ve got to really dislike me to spend that kind of money. I mean, that’s Oprah money. You could buy an island and call it “Nobama” for that kind of money. Sheldon would have been better off offering me $100 million to drop out of the race. I probably wouldn’t have taken it, but I’d have thought about it. Michelle would have taken it. You think I’m joking?

****

I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with. Hello? Think of me as a trial run, you know? See how it goes.

****

****

If they won’t come to me, I will come to them. Recently, I had dinner – it’s been well publicized – I had dinner with a number of the Republican senators. And I’ll admit it wasn’t easy. I proposed a toast – it died in committee.

****

Of course, even after I’ve done all this, some folks still don’t think I spend enough time with Congress. “Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?” they ask. Really? Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell? I’m sorry. I get frustrated sometimes.

****

****

I am not giving up. In fact, I’m taking my charm offensive on the road – a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann.

****

I, on the other hand, have run my last campaign. On Thursday, as Ed mentioned, I went to the opening of the Bush Presidential Library in Dallas. It was a wonderful event, and that inspired me to get started on my own legacy, which will actually begin by building another edifice right next to the Bush Library – can we show that, please?

****

I’m also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I’d rather keep it in the United States. Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?

****

****

Now, speaking of presidents and their legacies, I want to acknowledge a wonderful friend, Steven Spielberg, and Daniel Day-Lewis, who are here tonight. (Applause.) We had a screening of their most recent film, Lincoln, which was an extraordinary film. I am a little nervous, though, about Steven’s next project. I saw a behind-the-scenes look on HBO — well, let’s just check it out. Roll the tape.

It’s a remarkable transformation. Do I really sound like that, though, honey?

****

Text of the President’s remarks here

****


141 Responses to “The WHCD zingers”


  1. 1 Nena20409
    April 29, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Hello TODers

  2. April 29, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Howdy, Congrats Nena and Ison,

  3. 17 hopefruit2
    April 29, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Congratulations Nena and isonprize for 1st place tie! :)

  4. 19 Nena20409
    April 29, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Talk about a Great Piece of Post, Chips :!: Wow, You are The Very Best……Always ;)

  5. 20 isonprize
    April 29, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    :lol: :lol: I like the part of the “Daniel Day Lewis” sketch where PBO was ‘putting on his ears!’ :lol: :lol:

    • 21 MightyPamela
      April 29, 2013 at 2:33 pm

      He must have enjoyed the checkout of doing those skits for that vid! With everything else on his plate…. Amazing!

      • 22 jacquelineoboomer
        April 29, 2013 at 3:14 pm

        Yes, he probably does all of the peripheral things before breakfast. Not sure where he gets all of his energy – mental and physical – but what a sight to see.

  6. 23 Alycee (@jazziz2)
    April 29, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    Congrats Nena & Ison!

  7. 25 Alycee (@jazziz2)
    April 29, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Chips, thanks for recapping the WHCD. I’ve only rewatched the video 50 million times; as I live alone, sure my neighbors think I’ve gone loony! ;-)

    • April 29, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      :lol: Alycee, you’re not loony, you just have mighty fine good taste!!

      • 27 Alycee (@jazziz2)
        April 29, 2013 at 2:02 pm

        Must admit, my taste in most things IS impeccable; however, were I to hear a neighbor, whom I knew lived alone, belly laughing for a sustained period, when I’d pass their house I’d walk on the other side of the street…

    • 30 janicegwashington
      April 29, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      You’re not alone! I laughed out loud – alone – on Saturday night, Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon and Sunday night. President Obama has a comedic brilliance about him, and was quite effective in his topics, delivery and timing.

  8. 31 Alycee (@jazziz2)
    April 29, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Gov Oops has a sad…

    • 32 isonprize
      April 29, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      He should be disgusted at the death and destruction that occurred as a result of the deregulation of the rules. The cartoons are just depicting the TRUTH!!

      • 33 Alycee (@jazziz2)
        April 29, 2013 at 2:30 pm

        True. Difference between our ‘EXCEPTIONAL’ nation and a third world country is the ‘TWC’ has arrested the business owners who ignored safety and caused death and destruction!

  9. April 29, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    our President was hilarious :)

  10. 35 jacquelineoboomer
    April 29, 2013 at 1:49 pm
    • 36 jacquelineoboomer
      April 29, 2013 at 1:50 pm

      Every time I see Christiane, I think back to 2000 when she got herself in trouble “with the network” at a fundraiser or dinner and said about W’s election (paraphrasing), “How did WE let this happen?”

  11. 37 jacquelineoboomer
    April 29, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    More positive comments from reporters who aren’t intimidated by PBO:

  12. April 29, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Forgive me Michelle but President Obama is fiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnee! I am just being honest the man looks good, damn good

    • 45 hopefruit2
      April 29, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      We have to be careful Mellissa — that “Audrey” won’t come after us for “objectifying” Michelle’s husband!
      :) :)

      • 46 Eleroy
        April 29, 2013 at 9:34 pm

        I’m going out on the limb here to say that I actually agree with Audrey with regard to the “objectifying” bit!!! I’ll also add the fawning over the physical can be pretty cringe-worthy!!! It does get to be way too much and can be distasteful, diminishing and trivializing!!! And yes, extremely disrespectful not just of the President, but to the First Lady!!!

        I don’t know about other married women, but to read a blog about my husband where his supporters are writing things like “Michelle is lucky to wake up to that” and other silly stuff in that vein!!! Ugh!!! And the rush to insist that Mrs Obama is “not insecure” as if that makes it ok to continue to push the envelope and to overlook her as if she weren’t just as human and woman as the rest of us!!! Sadly I’ve also read some other really insulting, denigrating and dismissive stuff from supporters. Don’t even get me started on those who declare that they want to “wreck” the Obama marriage so they can get with the president!!!

        It’s very easy to offer up another woman and demand that she play along when we know damn well that we’d have serious issues with it ourselves if it were our own husbands!!! Here I must add the caveat that I’m referring only to wives who actually expect the best and hold their husbands to a higher standard and who aren’t grateful just to be married or who’d give a right arm to have their husband pay them any attention!!!

        I remember Mrs Obama commenting when asked in an interview about the “Obama girl” in 2008 and it was clear that she wasn’t comfortable with it!!! She alluded to one of her daughters coming home from school and asking her if she Mrs Obama was “daddy’s girlfriend” everybody was talking about!!! We do forget that the Obama daughters and their friends and school mates can and do read!!! And it’s not “harmless” or thrilling for 11 and 14 year olds to read about women falling all over their father as they insist that their mother, his wife, ought to be grateful!!!

        When President Obama joked about Mrs Obama taking Sheldon Adelson up on an $100 million offer for Barack to drop out of the race in 2012, I’m like, no kidding!!! I don’t blame her one bit!!! It all gets to be way too much!!!

        As much as I crave world peace and a progressive and cohesive agenda for our country and world with the right leader at the helm, I’m not about to cast aside, sacrifice or disregard Mrs Obama and her daughters as I cheer on President Obama!!!

        I value family above all else and if for one minute I ever thought that President Obama’s role as powerful world leader and all that it potentially attracts, negatively impacts or in any way threatens his primary and most important roles as husband and father, I’d be the first to jump off that supporter train!!! I’d even go as far as saying that if I ever got the feeling that the presidency would hurt his marriage and family, I’d have prayed against it instead of supporting it!!!

        It’s easy to flippantly dismiss another woman’s feelings especially when we rather conveniently and very selfishly project stoic, superwoman status on them!!! It’s even easier to sit at our computers in the normalcy of our own lives and offer up Mrs Obama and her daughters as sacrifice as long as we get President Obama when and how we want him!!! I reject that mindset in its entirety!!!

        • 47 hopefruit2
          April 29, 2013 at 10:06 pm

          Hello Eleroy, Thanks for sharing your views on this matter. While I appreciate your taking the time to let us know how you feel about comments made about PBO on this thread, I have some disagreements about your insinuation that we are coming from a place of disrespect for PBO and disregard for FLOTUS, Sasha and Malia. We are FIERCELY protective and respectful of our First Lady (and First Daughters) and Chips has posted many threads dedicated to her alone, and yes, many of us (including some men on the site) make repeated comments about HER appearance, dress/fashion, fitness, as well. There are far fewer men than women on this blog, so the fawning over the physical is more noticeable for PBO due to that reason. I may have missed something, but no one on this blog that I know has made any remarks about “wanting to wreck their marriage.”

          In fact we feel blessed and privileged whenever we see the two of them together – loving each other – as evidence of their strong marriage bonds, and we approvingly comment REPEATEDLY about their strong marriage. There have been TOD threads singularly focusing on how much this exemplary couple is an inspiration to other couples (and singles) out there.

          There is more that I want to say and I will try to draft a more detailed response to your comment as soon as I’m able to.

        • 48 globalcitizenlinda
          April 30, 2013 at 5:15 am

          I am one of the people who replied to Audrey that Mrs O was secure enough not to be upset by PBO’s actions toward Mrs G H B (number 41) because she is a lady who is old enough to be his grandma’s age.

          your response to turn this into a totally different generalization is not fair to the statement made at the time. why unload on others in a manner that misrepresents what they actually said?

          I know people here complement POTUS, FLOTUS either alone or as a couple and we sometimes go to the naughty mat. However, I must have missed when anyone here suggested to “wreck their marriage”.

          leaving a lot I wanted to say unsaid.

  13. 49 japa21
    April 29, 2013 at 1:56 pm
  14. April 29, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    2:10 PM EDT: President Obama Makes a Personnel Announcement

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/live

  15. 51 hopefruit2
    April 29, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Perhaps it’s just me – but I actually think that this year’s WHCD jokes by PBO were as good as or better than the ones from 2011 – which were excellent, but were also bolstered by a unique set of circumstances that occurred right around that time (Donald Trump birt sert fiasco, OBL, etc).

    This year’s jokes were more varied, and less restrained :)

  16. 56 Nena20409
    April 29, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Jay Carney’s WH Press Briefings on 4-29-13

    http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/312426-2

    • 58 jacquelineoboomer
      April 29, 2013 at 2:07 pm

      Thanks for always reminding us there are “other” political/societal issues like energy and the environment, Jovie! It’s practically the only way I keep up with this stuff.

  17. 59 Jovie
    April 29, 2013 at 2:03 pm
  18. 60 Jovie
    April 29, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    WASHINGTON – Students from Mira Loma High School from Sacramento, Calif. won the 2013 U.S. Department of Energy (DOE) National Science Bowl today in Washington D.C. This year’s championship team in the middle school competition is Creekside Middle School from Carmel, Ind.

    “Congratulations to our new National Science Bowl Champions, as well as to all of the finalists,” said Acting Secretary of Energy Secretary Daniel B. Poneman. “They represent America’s future in science, technology and engineering. As leaders of the next generation of our Nation’s innovators, they can sharpen America’s competitive edge in a rapidly-advancing world.”

    Mira Loma High School defeated North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics from Durham, N.C. by correctly answering a medical question about which damaged cranial nerve would account for a list of specific symptoms, including facial muscle paralysis and an inability to wrinkle the forehead. The members of the winning high school team are: Saaket Agrawal, Siddharth Trehan, Daniel Shen, and Jack Gurev. They were coached by James Hill.

    The top two high school teams emerged victorious from a field of 69 high school regional champions who came to D.C. to compete in the National Science Bowl Finals. Altogether, more than 9,000 high school students on 1,894 teams participated this year in 69 high school regional competitions, which were held in 43 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.

    http://energy.gov/articles/students-california-and-indiana-win-doe-s-23rd-national-science-bowl

    • 62 isonprize
      April 29, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      I’ve been meaning to mention that the White House stream has improved greatly!! It used to be all stoppy starty! Now, it’s crystal clear most of the time!! Yay, White House tech team! :grin: :grin:

  19. 64 cookemom
    April 29, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    {{{{{{Jason Collins}}}}}
    I Can’t Change If I Wanted To

  20. 65 dotster3
    April 29, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    That was So Fun! Loved every minute! I also admit I’ve watched it a bunch of times. Mr. dotster is starting to get mad as he catches me watching it again. He asks indignantly and jealously, “Again???” And now he’s trying to be extra special funny. Oy.

  21. April 29, 2013 at 2:14 pm
    • 75 japa21
      April 29, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      Actually, looks more like a pulling guard to me. And LaHood has no tolerance for the current GOP.

    • 76 theo67
      April 30, 2013 at 12:52 am

      No-one knew that day that it was the Republicans who needed blocking, as President Obama prepared to destroy them!

  22. April 29, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    I yearn for the day when someone comes out of the closet, and the general response is “That’s nice. What else have you done today?”

  23. April 29, 2013 at 2:20 pm
    • April 29, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      WOW!!

    • 82 isonprize
      April 29, 2013 at 2:32 pm

      Did you hear Pres Obama say that Mayor Foxx’s Grandmother worked in the White House during the Truman administration? I wonder what job she had? I would love to hear the stories she has!!! She must be BURSTING with pride!

    • 83 Indie Liberal
      April 29, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      Nice pic! :)

  24. April 29, 2013 at 2:23 pm
    • 85 donna dem 4 obama
      April 29, 2013 at 2:33 pm

      I just noticed that Mr. Foxx has Obama ears. This means we have another great listener working in the Obama Administration.

  25. April 29, 2013 at 2:28 pm
    • 87 dotster3
      April 29, 2013 at 2:42 pm

      Yes, those closing words were so significant. And I noticed that all seemed to be listening and paying attention. I hope some, at least, take those insightful, instructive words to heart—–to think about the significant role they play, to feel some shame about how far they’ve wandered off course and try to do better.

  26. 88 japa21
    April 29, 2013 at 2:28 pm
  27. 89 isonprize
    April 29, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh, some RWNJ’s are going to have EXPLODING HEADS over what Sec’y LaHood had to say about PBO. He was positively effusive in his praise. I mean, he did mention twice that he was a Republican, but after that, he was a STAN for PBO. :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • 90 Jovie
      April 29, 2013 at 2:32 pm

      And he mentioned HSR!

    • 91 57andfemale
      April 29, 2013 at 2:53 pm

      Ray LaHood was a very pleasant surprise. I remember him in the throes of the Clinton impeachment, but PBO could not have asked for a better Transportation Sec’y. The rest of the Republican party should take a lesson from Ray LaHood on citizenship, loyalty and putting-America-first.

  28. 92 Jovie
    April 29, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    FRESNO — When the California High-Speed Rail Authority put the first stretch of its statewide train system out for bids last year, the agency set a high technical standard for five contracting teams courting the more than $1 billion construction contract.
    In March 2012, the authority’s board decreed that even if all five teams submitted bids, only the three most “technically competitive” firms could compete based on the cost to build the 29-mile segment in Madera and Fresno counties. The teams with the lowest technical scores would be dropped and their price envelopes returned unopened.
    That rule, however, didn’t stick. In August — months before contractors submitted bids — the authority’s executive staff quietly altered the process without formal action by the board.

    http://www.modbee.com/2013/04/28/2691569/agency-sneaked-in-change-to-bidding.html

  29. April 29, 2013 at 2:43 pm
    • 94 isonprize
      April 29, 2013 at 2:46 pm

      If that’s not the sweetest picture!!! Wow, I know nothing about Mayor Foxx, but I like him already!!

      :grin: :grin: He loves and respects him Grammy. Just like a certain PBO we know….. :grin: :grin:

    • 95 donna dem 4 obama
      April 29, 2013 at 3:01 pm

      Ahhh what a wonderful picture. He is so fortunate to have her witness all these fantastic events in his life.

      Sometimes I get a little sad that PBO’s mom and grandma and grandpa are no longer here to partake of all the history he has made. They did a wonderful job raising our PBO just as Mayor Foxx’s gran did with him.

      God Bless them All!

    • 96 anniebella
      April 29, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      Now this is the kind of picture I like to see, Anthony Foxx and his Grandma. I can do without any picture of Mitch McConnell.

  30. 97 Jovie
    April 29, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    This is congress leaking all this shot about CIA. :(

  31. April 29, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    OT, but nonetheless extremely important….Need to let your member of congress hear your voices. Chip away at Citizens United.

  32. 100 donna dem 4 obama
    April 29, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Thanks for this Chips. IMO this was the best WHCD evahhh. Our President was on fiyah Saturday night.

    I am giddy with joy that he took it straight to the newstainers masquerading as journalist.

    Love.Him.To.Pieces.

  33. 102 hopefruit2
    April 29, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    The WH clip of Steven Spielberg’s “Obama” now has over 2M views on Youtube in Less than 48 hrs.

    • 103 donna dem 4 obama
      April 29, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      I sent 1.99M of my closes friends to go view it. I told them it would be worth it. They agreed. ;)

      • 104 hopefruit2
        April 29, 2013 at 3:27 pm

        Yup – I figured it had to be none other than you Donna who caused this spike in viewership over the last 24 hrs! Congratulations.

        One more request (heh): Could you convince each of these 1.99M friends to send me a dollar all in the name of fellowship and humanity?
        :) :)

        • 105 donna dem 4 obama
          April 29, 2013 at 3:45 pm

          Heck! Why didn’t I think of that? I think I’ll hire you as my agent. I like the way you think!

  34. 106 dotster3
    April 29, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Tragedy at a Cincinnati all male college prep Catholic school today—–jr. honors student shoots himself in the classroom during first period. I noticed a grandfather quoted in the article said his first thought when hearing the news was “It’s guns again.” The student is in critical condition.
    http://www.wcpo.com/dpp/news/region_west_cincinnati/green_township/shooting-reported-at-la-salle-high-school-in-colerain-township

  35. 107 Indie Liberal
    April 29, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Congrats to Mayor Foxx and (his cute family) on being nominated for Transportation Sec. Maybe people like Randi Rhodes will not say that he was behind the attacks on the former NTSB lady (who was also considered).

    Note, this was all sarcasm.

  36. 110 dotster3
    April 29, 2013 at 3:11 pm
  37. April 29, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Pleased to see that at least a few folk – besides TODers – realized (or may still be reeling from the thrashing they received) that #PBO set them up and then took them to the mat, hard.

    #TrustBarack

  38. 112 donna dem 4 obama
    April 29, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Japa, Mr. Dotster and Chips I’m gonna sign up to be ordained online so that I can perform the 3-some wedding ceremony. I actually am doing this for selfish reasons….I wouldn’t miss the spectacular event for anything and I want to witness this thing up close and personal :shock:

  39. April 29, 2013 at 3:23 pm
  40. 119 criquet
    April 29, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Hope Michelle bachman doesn’t read this !!!!

  41. 123 hopefruit2
    April 29, 2013 at 3:33 pm
  42. April 29, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    Haha, caption contest anyone?

    • 127 donna dem 4 obama
      April 29, 2013 at 3:48 pm

      Turtles drink beer? What do ya know, I learn something new everyday!

    • 128 dotster3
      April 29, 2013 at 4:02 pm

      Looks like Mitch also has an imaginary friend. No real people would subject themselves to that torture, even when Mitch said he was buying. “No thanks”, all the real people said, as they ran away fast as a bunny.

  43. April 29, 2013 at 4:04 pm
    • 131 jacquelineoboomer
      April 29, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      I see you’re having as much fun as I am, Chips! Isn’t it great? I’m gonna go “rest up” for more later. :)

  44. 132 jacquelineoboomer
    April 29, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    Think I’ll go offline a little bit. Try not to miss me. :)

    Not sure why, but calling out these non-important PBO-bashin’ dull ‘n’ ludicrous reporters is really making me laugh uproariously. Maybe I need therapy! (Not.) See y’all later.

  45. April 29, 2013 at 4:15 pm
  46. 137 donna dem 4 obama
    April 29, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Paging DF, your crazy Senator forgot to bring the facts when he decided to take on PPP. Ha! What an idiot.

  47. 138 dotster3
    April 29, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    More background on this photo. Can’t believe a couple of haters are replying with hate to even this photo. Beyond pitiful.


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