*places tiles*
Ａ₁ Ｄ₂ Ｏ₁ Ｐ₂ Ｔ₁ Ｅ₁ Ｄ₂
"Hey you can't play the same word 3 times!"
If you were my real son you'd get the hint
"What?"
Nothing
—
Blind Chow (@BlindChow) October 20, 2025Fuck it, send.
-God making the platypus
—
Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) October 22, 2025****
My wife's doctor told her she needs to figure out what's stressing her out and get rid of it. The problem is I have no where else to live.
—
Loco Eric (@ericsshadow) October 19, 2025The first rule of dad club is shut the goddamn door on your way in, we're not trying to heat the whole outdoors here.
—
būč|{¥ |$0+øp€ (@BuckyIsotope) October 24, 2025****
I'd like to think I'm a decent person but honestly if I was a millionaire, the last thing I would do is dress up like a bat and fight crime.
—
Carly Danger (@carlyken) October 23, 2025[Cop pulls me over]
"Sir why are you sweating so much?"
Well the dead body in my trunk was heavy.
"What?"
I meant alive body
"Move along"
—
(@Ristolable) October 23, 2025****
Who's a good boy? Are you? Are you a good boy? Who's a good boy? The answer...may surprise you. Find out tonight on Dog News.
—
Eli Terry (@EliTerry) October 15, 2025My sister's friend posted YOLOWEEN! as her Facebook status so I just blocked her and her entire family.
—
Ann Coultergeist (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 21, 2025****
If you give a cop the finger, he'll pull you over & say "That was one hell of a badass move. We could use more guys like you on the force."
—
(@Ristolable) October 21, 2025adam's diary
day 1: we arrived on earth, weather's nice, a bit quiet, both adjusting well
day 2: eve is talking to a snake
—
k e e t (@KeetPotato) October 22, 2025****
Houston, we have a problem
Houston: new phone who dis
—
Scary Terry F (@daemonic3) October 23, 202550% of all men who tell women to 'relax' go missing; the rest never have sex again.
—
Elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) October 15, 2025
White House.gov
