NASA wrote back to me. http://t.co/pu5LjGpKVO
—
Jamie Jones (@JamieDMJ) November 23, 2025[A dog is leaving a note on my car]
"Whats going on?"
You're getting a 'barking' ticket
"Hahah oh wow thats clever"
This isnt a fucking joke
—
eric (@dubstep4dads) July 29, 2025****
What vaccination does a bird get in the winter? A FLEW sh- *before I can finish Satan grabs hold of me & pulls me down to the fiery inferno*
—
patrick (@tastefactory) November 26, 2025windows 8: i got some updates
me: cool
windows: i have to restart
me: okay not now
windows: im going to
me: please dont
windows: lol
—
thomas violence (@thomas_violence) November 23, 2025****
haha ok son here's another riddle, what has 4 legs but isn't alive?
"a chair haha duh, nice try mo—
it's your dog. spot's dead billy
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chet porter (@chetprtr) June 11, 2025"sure, small horses would be cool why not. i don't care anymore." -god making ponies
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chuuch (@ch000ch) November 21, 2025****
don't think of it as a break up, think of it as a remix. oh i almost forgot your dog got remixed by a car yesterday
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mustard (@nice_mustard) November 29, 2025"So why do you want to be a doctor?"
*imagines taking a bunch of drugs and listening to my own dick with a stethoscope*
...To help people.
—
GoaT FacE ThrillA (@EndhooS) November 09, 2025****
How do we know you're not a cop?
"Uh hello..."
*unzips jacket revealing 'I ❤ Crimes' t-shirt*
*bad guys look at each other*
OK he's legit...
—
GoaT FacE ThrillA (@EndhooS) July 09, 2025Not saying I went to the roughest high school, but I was voted Most Likely to Shut the Fuck Up White Boy You Ain't Shit Fuck You
—
Dan Ewen (@VaguelyFunnyDan) September 17, 2025****
COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal.
ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave?
COP:...and for this weed
ME: That's Dave's
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Don Nichols (@TheDairylandDon) December 10, 2025waiter: "can i take your order?"
eve staring adam dead in the eye: "how are the ribs?"
adam: "you bitch"
—
k e e t (@KeetPotato) November 21, 2025****
"Your résume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"
*flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts*
"Grad school."
—
ibid (@ibid78) November 18, 2025"Dad, how are babies made?"
"Well, when a man and a woman are having relationship issues they sometimes think a child will make it better"
—
Kyle Lippert (@Kyle_Lippert) November 16, 2025
White House.gov
1st dying of laughter!
I. Am. Dead. It’s magnificent!!!
Thank yooooooou Nerdy!!!
Did NASA really reply with that letter? LOL :) Regardless, I want to become a spacewoman when I grow up!
You’re welcome, Chips.
TY, Nerdy!
You’re welcome, DF.
Great to have a laugh at the end of the day. Thanks NW and Chips.
You’re welcome, MTMarilyn.
Night everyone:) Time to snuggle in. Hope LL made it safely to see the missus and her family…..and hope Stewie is having a blast:)
For anyone who saw my post on last thread-my granddaughter saw a picture of PO on my Facebook newsfeed and she instantly said, “President Obama” with emphasis on President. Gosh, she is smart!!!!! :).
Bill Clinton was driving up to the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obamas’ new puppy, Sunny, squashed it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his car and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew Michele would go friggin’ ballistic.
Then he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, brushed it off and immediately a Genie popped out. “You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment,” said the
Genie “As a reward I shall grant you one wish.”
“Well,” said Bill, “I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this damned dog.”
They walk over to the splattered remains of Sunny. “Do you think you could bring this dog back
to life for me?” Bill asked. The Genie looked at the remains and shook his head. “This critter is
too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Maybe there’s something else you’d like?”
Bill thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. “I had an affair with this beautiful young girl called Monica,” said Bill, showing the genie the first photo. “But I’m actually married to this woman called Hillary” and he showed the genie the second photo. “You see
Hillary isn’t beautiful at all, so do you think you can make her look like Monica?”
The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, “Damn, let’s have another
look at that dog!”
Thanksgiving table scraps are filling.
hahaha…I know that is right…lolol…I won’t elaborate
Chips, here’s a nice toy for Danny as a holiday present! :) :)
ROTFLMAO!
Scalia “aka kettle” wants to correct a prosecutor who makes law up for his own rwnj racist agenda when the five corp justices do this all the time.
pot calling the kettle blk…hmmmm
… and it wasn’t the first time retired Captain Ray Lewis was in Ferguson and elsewhere, as an activist:
http://news.yahoo.com/retired-cops-side-ferguson-protesters-203910055.html
They, along with a bunch of mostly white, frequently impoverished or barely escaping impoverishment, Americans just don’t get it ….
#TrustBarack …. and get ready for the most intense two years in American history, no joke ….
good night TOD
#TrustBarack
~Kevin Hefty, an SEIU Healthcare PA vice president, said in a statement, “At a time when the need for public health nurses couldn’t be greater, we fully expect the Corbett administration to undo the damage they did and reopen closed health centers, reinstate nurse positions and restore the level of services required by law.”~
Is it okay to post a TinyUrl here?
Why I sometimes follow good ol’ liberal celebrities on twitter:
:-) :-)
Good Morning!
Good Morning, Linda!
Morning!
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/11/28/early-bird-chat-and-rise-and-shine/