Me: I wish for a lightsaber.
Genie: Be realistic.
Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend.
Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?
—
Slightly funny Jew (@Dani_Feld) April 09, 2025My daughter asked me what it's like to have kids so I interrupted her every 11 seconds until she cried.
—
Smug Lemur (@Smug_Lemur) November 02, 2025****
Me: Can I have a Batmobile?
Santa: Be realistic.
Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job?
Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage.
—
Slightly funny Jew (@Dani_Feld) December 14, 2025Wife: My panties are very, VERY wet.
Me: Do you wanna...
Wife: Fix the fucking dryer.
—
Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) November 17, 2025****
I know that I'd make a terrible heroin junkie because I'm 26 years old and I can barely jam the straw into a Capri Sun without making a mess
—
Donnie Fairburn (@Donnie_Fairburn) June 10, 2025Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together.
"Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."
—
jerry lock (@jlock17) June 10, 2025****
Never try and start a conga when leaving a funeral.
—
Noodles (@Dawn_M_) November 25, 2025Dear vegetarians,
You're free range and grain fed, if there's ever an apocalypse, the rest of us are definitely going to eat you.
—
Sam Bananahammock© (@Sam_stone31) July 10, 2025****
6: Dad, can I jump off this?
Me: No.
6: I'm gonna do it.
Me: Be careful.
And that's how dads watch kids.
(Only one ER visit so far.)
—
Bizarro Mark (@Bizarro_Mark) September 28, 2025Every piece of cake
Every cookie you take
Every bite of steak
I'll be watching you
Dogs
—
Marcmywords (@Marcmywords2) February 24, 2025****
Want to know what it's like to have kids?
1. Gather everything you own.
2. Throw it all on the floor.
3. Pick it up.
4. Repeat for infinity.
—
Topher Writes (@Iwriteforcats) May 11, 2025*Food hits floor*
Little Germs: "Let's get it!"
King Germ: "No!!! We must wait 5 seconds......"
—
Sir Rabbit (@hythemafia) August 09, 2025
So true and thanks for the laughs
Congrats vetivera :)
“Dear vegetarians ….” :D :D :D :D :D Well done, NW!!
Thanks Bob.
My fav? Want to know what it’s like to have kids? Yeah been there.
:)
Thanks, Bob.
You’re welcome, Vetivera24.
These had me laughing so hard that I started choking. Laughter really is the best medicine; thanks for this dose to make a little sweeter a difficult week.
You’re welcome, CEB.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniel-raphael/islam-is-not-the-problem_b_6263112.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592
Good article but what was even more telling was how so many ignorant hateful people flocked to it.
LOL! That first one was for me, wasn’t it? :-D
#6 does it for me; I will be too embarrassed to ever go into a Subway again.
Oh, I’ll be embarrassed, too. But it’ll be on my way out with my sub!
:-D
ROFLOL!
Beaten by those with swift reflexes! Fourth’s good - for a while. :grin:
Congrats those who made it in the top three!
Your dialogue with JackieG in the previous thread will, hopefully, manifest in the specific messaging you rightly recognize is crucial. Thank you.
TY, Bfr. Thanks too to others for your responses. I’m tossing your thoughts and ideas on this issue around in my head to see what comes together, since I have become fixated on the idea that we as a community can make a difference in some small way going forward. We can be the ‘one voice’, maybe.
VC, I got the link and will have something for you tomorrow. Thanks for your efforts <3
“… since I have become fixated on the idea that we as a community can make a difference in some small way going forward. We can be the ‘one voice’, maybe.”
Yes We Can
#TruthAndReconciliation
The Subway one! Bwahahahaha! :-D :-D :-D
Hello, Nerdy,
You are a very special person. After the horrible week we went through, we surely needed some relief.
Thank you, Nath.
You’re pretty wonderful yourself too, sir. :)
Good morning amk …. and, yes, just one glance :)
Now, this is just wrong (but so funny)
Hey! It’s our roaming nomad! :-D
we talkin’ about me or the kenyan?
You da one! :-)
Hahahahaha amk! :D
Thanks to you and NW for some smiles tonight :-)
Worth reading the article linked in the tweet. Of course, they do not mention President Obama, but fact is that it is his Strategic Leadership that is crushing Russia’s economy …
#BackBarack
The one about watching kids? Totally my Dad. :-)
Golden translations :)
and in pink, no less. :)
Of course :)
Toodle-di-doo!
Time is like a river.
You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a Bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothing like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
Apparently I’m still lost…
Yeah, over in that organic part of the store named B-A-K-E-R-Y. Ha.
:lol:
:-D
Dang. My local PBS station just had a fundraiser tribute to Bruce Springsteen on, and I missed all but the last half hour and this grand finale. Love this song, among many of his I love!
My friend (who has similar geeky passions as you, I might add) told me that today reminded her of “1492.” When I asked why, she said, “I’m sure people alive back then were busy doing other things, like falling in love or feeding their families or starting wars or something. But all we vividly remember is that one thing that happened that year. Mention 1492 and we’ll think ‘Columbus.’ In 500 or so years, if anybody’s still around to talk about it, they’ll be mentioning 2014 and Orion.”
Truer words never spoken.
I’m reminded of this clip from the best show ever on television. It seems appropriate given events across the world and here at home.
My only science nerd contribution would be that in the mid-90s or so, I stood on that very same hallowed ground to watch a night launch. The unbelievable sights and sounds - especially because the entire area was filled with light - made me immediately say to the people I was with, “Wow. There really is a God.”
I’m in awe! Just one launch. I want to attend one. Got it on my bucket list. Maybe it’ll be the manned flight to Mars. For me, that would be enuff of everything.
Beautiful!
OMG, NW, that Subway tweet is ME. You nailed ME! Where do I send your $8? And where’s my cookie and chips?
LOL.
Another good West Wing clip
Well poot! I did the happy dance when I paid $2.46 this morning. That ain’t right! :-)
meet the newest wacko from Wisconsin>>>>>The Congressman-elect who says the government bribes single parents to stay unemployed and unmarried joins Ed. http://bit.ly/1IaEVJa
next time anyone thinks that john harwood is an okay “journalist,” just look at his timeline today and remember it. he’s spent the day suggesting the good jobs report doesn’t have “real” numbers and various other water-throwing on the report, praising candy crowley, promoting the “no labels”/republican scam, and that president obama “blew it” in terms of the economy and healthcare reforms, among other insanity.
this guy is as bad as any of the other republican propagandists in “the news” posing as “journalists.”
Don’t expect it because the media whores won’t allow it.
just an uneducated (about space programs in general) observation - the last couple of high-profile private sector (meaning for billionaire’s to redistribute more money to themselves) space flights have been big tragedies with the rocket exploding on take-off and richard bran son’s company have a big crash, while NASA has yet another major success today with orion, just as they’ve been doing for many decades now. meanwhile the evil gubnint NASA just keeping chugging along with major advances, which then these vulture capitalists with take and them profit from, while never giving any credit to the evil gubnint. it’s never-ending with the republican/libertarian lies.
Well said!
Precisely, 4more!! Thank you.
Ain’t that the truth?!!! Tell it!
Past midnight and a new day. Also my oldest granddaughter Brandy’s 24th birthday! I’ll leave you with this song, in her honor. She’s a fine young woman, loved by many.
Happy Birthday to your granddaughter Brandy, Jacqueline!!
You’re such a sweet grandma, job! Happy Birthday to Brandy.
I ran across this exceptional video series from Conservation International. This latest one is the one the caught my eye…
Here’s a little sidebar highlighting TWO beautiful women
A big part of the conversation that white Americans need to have with Each Other is how the vast majority of US are 24/7/365 victims of strategic, systematic #WhiteOnWhiteCrime perpetrated by US #Kleptocrats (and, more than a few off-shore #Kleptocrats).
Skillful use of fear & loathing, leveraging centuries of memes, of POC is a primary tool of #WhiteOnWhiteCrime that the #Kleptocrats wield with exceptional, unrelenting precision.
Anyone paying even a tiny bit of attention since PBO announced his candidacy in 2007 have been witnesses to just how precise, effective, unrelenting and ruthless they are. Certainly, anyone paying attention since 20Jan09 knows it without doubt.
The Zimmerman travesty began a new season of awareness in America of how profound our racial divide is. We had to face, in real time, the reality that lots of White Americans would be perfectly comfortable seeing a black American lynched. With the executions of Mike Brown & Tamir Rice, and the strangling of Eric Garner we are now reaching peak awareness of the reality that for many Americans black lives DON’T matter. Period.
White Americans OWN that reality.
Ironically, a vast number of White Americans are also VICTIMS because they refuse to see the simple fact that a few very skillful, avaricious, rich beyond reason White Americans have propagandized them so thoroughly that they run to the gun store when a cold blooded murderer White cop is not even required to face a trial for strangling a black man to death & then smiling and waving at the person who video recorded his crime.
They don’t realize that if they ran to save their black fellow Americans from slaughter that they would be running toward their own FREEDOM.
That, for me, is the core message.
White America will shed the shackles of fear and overthrow their real enemy, US Kleptocrats, the moment the majority of White Americans learn to LOVE and PROTECT their black (POC) Fellow Americans.
A process of #TruthAndReconciliation is at least one mechanism to achieve the goal of awareness, accountability, repair and ongoing education and vigilance.
From the numerous demonstrations I’ve studied ever since Trayvon’s murderer was not convicted convinces me that many White Americans are ready for a focused Movement, not merely more demonstrations.
As I noted in my recent letter to President Obama, launching a #TruthAndReconciliation Movement would benefit greatly by his calling on influential White Americans to take the lead, drive and sustain it. The Responsibility for #TruthAndReconciliation is wholly on White Americans because WE are the RACISTS who need to purge that evil from our society, and redeem ourselves by how we ACT, not merely by what we say.
Yes We Can
well said, bobfr. don’t know if you all saw this already (sorry i’ve been out of the loop recently) but this lady speaks to our need to educate ourselves about the struggles of people not like ourselves- we’re all missing a lot of info on what’s going on. and until we come together, the kochs will prevail.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/05/franchesca-ramsey-video-ally_n_6275680.html
Thank you Susanne. I have not seen it but will study it, for sure.
#FORWARD Together
Franchesca Ramsey is impressive, Susanne. She definitely gets ‘privilege’ and she has a delightful approach to sharing her cogent insights. TY!
Bravo, Bob. This is exactly the message that we’ve all been groping for. A massive, systematic fraud has been perpetrated on Americans for decades, controlling us with messages more effectively than anything “1984” could devise. And very few people whose lives are ruled by the oligarch messaging have the slightest idea that they’re being daily manipulated.
Thank you JackieG. Hopefully, folk will read it and find it useful. Will persist in trying to get the message out to others.
#TruthAndReconciliation
‘ Pakistan military says a top al-Qaida militant indicted in the U.S. over a plot to bomb New York’s subway system has been killed.
The military issued a statement Saturday saying Adnan Shukrijumah was killed in a raid in Pakistan’s North Waziristan tribal area. It said two other suspected militants were killed in the operation that killed one soldier and wounded another.
~
Shukrijumah has taken over as chief of al-Qaida’s global operations — a position once held by Sept. 11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. The New York indictment links him to the Manhattan plot and a similar never-executed scheme to attack British subways. ‘
http://t.co/oPNtrPcUfe
Morning!
And belated thanks for the fantabulous laughs, Nerdy!
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/12/06/early-bird-chat-432/
Thanks, Chips.
Morning folks! I’m up and about awaiting a friend who promised to come at 7am to help me change some locks, hang a couple of mirrors and weatherstrip the entrance doors. May I add that I don’t have a lot of confidence in him keeping his word? We’ll see.