"in case of emergency we ask you to please literally rip the entire door off the hinges then get the hell out" http://t.co/hXmdebqsxJ
—
EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) February 16, 2025"Ok welcome to ask stupid questions club. Any questions?"
Is this ask stupid questions club?
"You're now the leader of this club"
What club?
—
Cocaine Cola (@SatansTongue) February 02, 2025****
"Uh, sir, do you want to rethink that acronym at all?"
"Do you want to get the fuck out of my office?" http://t.co/XBHc6YHXi8
—
Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) February 06, 2025“Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?”
why would-
“It’s because they're sold by weight-“
Dan, NO
“not by volume"
—
dan mentos (@DanMentos) February 13, 2025****
*runs in out of breath*
Friend: what's going on?
Me: [heavy breathing] bear with me
Friend: Ok *waits*
*bear runs in, also out of breath*
—
A-tron (@Abusitron) February 17, 2025How far the mighty have fallen. http://t.co/RvuNMA7VjP
—
Glenn (@justabloodygame) February 14, 2025****
"DADDY THERE'S A SPIDER IN MY ROOM"
[sound of me nailing door shut]
Wife "WTF are you doing?"
Its too late for her now she's as good as dead
—
GoaT FacE ThrillA (@EndhooS) February 16, 2025****
*the "i like to move it move it" song plays as my casket is lowered*
—
Bob Iver (@HumanPog) February 11, 2025@HumanPog @SaulKewl I'm going with "Drop it Like It's Hot", but this is good too.
—
Yael (@elle91) February 11, 2025****
"I'm gonna Google that. BING that, Bing that, sorry" - The CEO of Bing many times per day still
—
Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) October 02, 2025REPORTER: Mr. Chicken why did u cross the road?
CHICKEN: I told u it's none of ur business *grabs camera* Get that damn camera outta my face
—
patrick (@tastefactory) February 17, 2025****
[in bar fight]
"Oh yeah tough guy? Well say hello to my little friend"
[a puppy runs into the bar & kills everyone with a katana]
—
Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) February 19, 2025"Sir are you aware there's a lobster in your car?"
[I force a smile as the lobster presses a gun into the back of my seat]
"y...yes officer"
—
Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) February 18, 2025
White House.gov
