Behind every great man is me rolling my eyes and doing the jerkoff motion.
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(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 24, 2025Breaking: Racists outraged at Obama's use of the N-word. "That was OUR word for making fun of HIM" one gun-toting redneck was quoted.
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(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 22, 2025****
"Southern Pride" sounds like a group of asshole lions who fly a flag with Scar on it but say it's not because they hated Mufasa.
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(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 19, 2025Defending the confederate flag because it's part of history is like defending cancer because it's part of life.
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(@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 20, 2025****
cop: [making list of animals that escaped]
zookeeper: "the tigers should be your top priority"
cop: [scribbling out ducks] "obviously"
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k e e t (@KeetPotato) June 17, 2025Whenever you girls go to the bathroom together, us guys huddle up and smooch before you get back. It's our biggest secret
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Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) June 21, 2025****
"What should we call this thing in the ocean that is land?"
How about island?
"Seems too obvious"
What if we pronounced it weird
"Perfect"
—
Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) August 27, 2025[Rock Paper Scissors Best of 7 Championship]
*down 3 games to 0 against Edward Scissorhands*
MY COACH: Stop choosing paper!
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Br&on the Cow (@Brampersandon_) February 09, 2025****
[dark alley]
him: hey man you got the stuff?
me: what?
him: the coke?
me: dude i can't see shit
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very handsome keith (@ghostkrogh) April 23, 2025Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung.
Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG.
Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife
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ibid (@ibid78) December 23, 2025****
CHEDDAR: I'm the best
SWISS: No way, so pedestrian
BLUE: You're bland
GOUDA: You stink
COTTAGE: [out on a pontoon boat getting drunk]
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A-tron (@Abusitron) June 22, 2025"Sir this car runs on dirty talk. Why not give it a go"
"um...how bout them vaginas"
[car drives off at like 3mph]
—
Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) June 24, 2025
