11.45: Arrived at crime scene
11.45: Examined body. Signs of a struggle
11.45: Found murder weapon in drain
11.45: Realised watch was broken
—
Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) June 13, 2025*sees cute girl on sidewalk*
nice
*she makes eye contact*
oh wow
*she smiles*
is this happening
*she’s holding a clipboard*
god dammit
—
dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 26, 2025****
COMEDIAN: so wheres everybody from
ALIEN: [sweating under his human costume] north america
—
Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) July 01, 2025[concerned parents looking at the ride I built for my son's party]
"is it safe?"
yes
*kids go on and welcome to the jungle starts playing*
—
brent (@murrman5) June 26, 2025****
"Welcome to the jungle"
Thanks.
"We've got fun and games"
Cool.
"You're in the jungle"
We've established this
"You're gonna die!"
Wait what?
—
TwitnterIsComing (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 23, 2025"..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"
*raises hand*
What guy thought horses might figure it out?
—
Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) September 10, 2025****
[H&R Block 1776]
"so, do you have any independence to claim this year?"
[Thomas Jefferson puts on his shades] you better believe it pal
—
PapeяWash© (@PaperWash) July 03, 2025[Dad runs out of my room] I CANT BELIEVE U MASTURBATE TO THAT FILTH
[Me shouting over the Antiques Roadshow theme] YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED
—
Rad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) June 25, 2025****
WIFE: Whatcha thinking about?
ME: *thinking about how penguins could probably fly if they just believed in themselves more* Just work stuff
—
Br&on the Cow (@Brampersandon_) March 18, 2025Donald Trump: i have my favorite muffins flown in each morning
His assistant, later: i put Costco muffins in a suitcase...it makes him happy
—
shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) June 27, 2025****
wife: "you promised you wouldnt buy anything stupid with our lottery winnings"
me: [covering penguin's ears] "he can hear you linda"
—
k e e t (@KeetPotato) June 19, 2025DR DOG: *struggling to fit his paw into a rubber glove designed for a human hand* So this prostate exam is probably gonna hurt like a bitch
—
Dr Dog (@DrDogMD) June 28, 2025
White House.gov
FURST.
HA, HA, VC.
Congrats even amk on FURST.
Geez, show a little decorum, why don’t you?
how much a kilo? #decorum
Not for sale. If you’ve missed out…. -poor thing!
bummer. see ya later, I am off.
Have a great flight! And behave yourself!
Safe journey!
BTW, I don’t mind you greeting me from the top on this one. I’d have been more miffed if it had been the vintage Obama funny video.
http://www.dailynews.com/events/20150731/special-olympics-athlete-honored-for-catching-first-lady-michelle-obama
Cool story! Thanks for sharing it, bella!
“Dad,” Wales told his father, Gary, afterward, “I talked to the first lady and the Secret Service didn’t slam me to the floor.” :-D
PBO just sent a text saying that the blue moon should not be an excuse to drink and act up, but an opportunity to reflect, make amends, give back, and heal.
Our amazing President! Good thing I came inside to see this - I was howling at the big round thing in the sky!
From bad to worse………
…starting to feel sorry for the kid!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet….. LOL
Indeed…
Now I have to start watching this show…..sheeeeeeeeit. I would love PBO use this in the next “nerd ball” WHCD.
Hey, Meta…
Weisman is the only U.S. reporter I know that is actually there
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/01/business/tpp-trade-talks-us-pacific-nations.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share&_r=0
OY
Ya….means vote is going to be pushed into the middle of next year….if & when they reach an accord.
Thanks, NW - I’ve been that girl with the clipboard …
Safe travels, AMK!
:)
Travel light, amk!
NW, these are exactly the tweets I needed tonight, after a long, good day! Thank you! Hysterical.
Yay!
Happy to help, Ms. J’OB. :)
Interesting how the negotiators did not refer to it as failed…interesting that one word from a reporter can color your point of view about an issue…this is the Power of the media
******************
This is part of what the statement says:
Lahaina, HI - We, the trade ministers of Australia, Brunei Darussalam, Canada, Chile, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, New Zealand, Peru, Singapore, United States, and Vietnam announce that, after more than a week of productive meetings, we have made significant progress and will continue work on resolving a limited number of remaining issues, paving the way for the conclusion of the Trans-Pacific Partnership negotiations…
This may have been posted already (so apologies for duplicate), but it’s such a heartwarming story I had to post it here:
HEADLINE: Artist Draws 54 Sketches of Obama for His 54th Birthday
// SAN JOSE, Calif. – Graphic artist Arvind Kotha has prepared a unique present for President Barack Obama’s 54th birthday on Aug. 4. The Indian American immigrant, who has lived in the United States since 2007, has created 54 sketches of the president, showcasing his many accomplishments while in office.
Kotha said he tried to capture the mood and emotions of Obama as the president grapples with the many challenges of the nation.
“I have always been inspired by the president’s great courage and leadership,” said Kotha, who worked on this present for nine months. He has also contacted White House staff in an attempt to meet the president and personally present his work. //
http://www.indiawest.com/news/global_indian/artist-draws-sketches-of-obama-for-his-th-birthday/article_4e76a898-36dc-11e5-8848-73f100334509.html
She is the best…
“I wonder what Floyd [Mayweather] feels like getting beat by a woman for once” ….I can’t wait for her fight tomorrow.
:-D
Nerdy, these jokes… I um… I just dunno what to say! :-D
LOL!!!
Hahahahaha….
Fabulous!
More travelin’ music for Sec Kerry’s night flight
One of my absolute favourite songs!
Another nice shot by the same young man (from last night) :-)
I think it’s time to give my eyes, and back, a rest.
Good night, Dudette! Thanks for the two new bits of knowledge you gave me. :)
Good night, all other TODobots!
You’re Very Welcome, VC! Good Night! :-D
Good night, vc!
GN, VC!
How does 99ts feel about this :???:
Australia, the world’s guinea pig…
Well, I live avocado and I like toast, but uhhh… I don’t think so!
love avocado :roll:
I haven’t been to a Mcdonald’s since I was a toddler and my folks would stop there for bathroom breaks on road trips…
My grandbabe & her mother do like avocado & toast - they probably combine the two
I don’t even wanna imagine what else might be on the menu.
I have to admit - I don’t go to McDonalds so I don’t have an opinion.
Hollah!
‘What do you get when you combine an empty office, a mini basketball hoop, Space Jam tunes and a total legend? A dunk show for the ages. All we know about Jake H (his YouTube name) is that he was laid off and left alone with a six-foot Fisher Price rim for a few weeks prior to his final day….. :D :D :D
Nothing will ever touch this video (after a girl got laid off as well) from last year though!!!!
Epic! :-D
The best….I’d been a minute and I forgot she quit & didn’t get laid off…which makes it even better :cool:
Simply gorgeous!
YOU are Stupendous….Dudette…
My Contribution to Blue Moon! Smilin…
I ran across this scrumptious rendition of Musetta’s Waltz by Leontyne Price
I think I’d like to go to sleep with the sound of her angelic voice playing in my head and so I shall retire for the evening!
Good Night Family!
I don’t know who will be elected next…but…Things will never be the same once PRESIDENT BARACK H. OBAMA and FIRST LADY MICHELE OBAMA leave the Whitehouse…I know its selfish(they are entitled to having their private lives back) but I am not looking forward to Jan 20,2017…THEY HAVE BEEN AMAZING!!!!
And NO,not at all have I been disappointed …just uplifted and inspired in so many ways!!!!
LynnyD, it’s as if you took those words right out of my mouth.
paging 99ts
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-33745663
and you cannot touch me for another 10 hours. ha.
Sare travels!
Ben Sommers and his colleagues found that previous expansions of state Medicaid programs significantly reduced all-cause mortality in those states, compared to matched states that did not expand health insurance. By one credible estimate, Massachusetts’s Romneycare insurance expansion prevented about one death per year for every 830 adults newly enrolled in health coverage. If these estimates carry over to the 16 million Americans newly-insured under the Affordable Care Act, health reform is now preventing about 19,000 deaths every year. That’s more than the annual lives saved by seat belts, frontal air bags, motorcycle helmets, child restraints, and minimum drinking age laws—put together.
Rise and Shine!
http://theobamadiary.com/2015/08/01/rise-and-shine-1069/