Dance like there's no one watching. Pronounce names like you're John Travolta.
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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 05, 2014Even if you don’t believe in Me, I believe in Me, and that’s all that counts. #selfesteem #faithinmyself #gotohellmotherfuckers
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 10, 2014****
Good luck finding something more depressing than the guy eating alone at this airport Burger King tapping his foot to a Sheryl Crow song.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) May 03, 2014It really sucks when the only things holding you back are being not good enough and not really trying.
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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 05, 2014****
People tend to greatly underestimate the frequency with which they should shut up.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 10, 2014Did you know most car crashes are just people trying to destroy their radio after someone on NPR pronounces the "p" in raspberry?
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 28, 2014****
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 02, 2014Retweet this and you'll get three wishes!(They won't come true or anything, but still: three wishes!)
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 09, 2014****
We all have that 3-week-old unheard voicemail from our mother on our phone.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 25, 2014Donald Sterling banned for life and $2.5 million fine, sending a clear message: never NEVER criticize someone else's instagram.
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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) April 29, 2014****
Just read headline "Sarah Palin Talks Abortion with Mario Lopez." Thankfully, the subhead is "On Rocketship Headed Into the Sun."
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Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) May 07, 2014THE FIVE STAGES OF GLOBAL WARMING
1. Denial
2. Guilt
3. Depression
4. Acceptance
5. Drowning
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 08, 2014****
Don't be afraid to fail. Because if you don't fail how will you learn that you're stupid and should never do anything?
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Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) May 07, 2014Watching #EurovisionSongContest2014 and thinking I may have created one continent too many.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 06, 2014****
Kids: Your homework is being graded by someone who's buzzed.
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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) April 28, 2014If I say "hello" to someone it's only because there was no possible way of avoiding them.
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Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) May 07, 2014****
Justin Bieber makes me think we need to bring back throwing rotten vegetables at people in town squares.
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Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) April 25, 2014The key to successful prayer is to ask for something that would have happened anyway.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 03, 2014****
Hey companies, keep making athletes act in fast food commercials. It's totally working and not at all uncomfortable for the viewer.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 28, 2014Mississippi could soon be the first state without an abortion clinic. That means more Mississippians would be born. You can see the problem.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 27, 2014****
I'll bet a lot of cool pastors mentioned "Star Wars Day" this morning, then tried to tie it into the Lord and lost the crowd.
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Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) May 04, 2014Most of the time if a man has a ponytail and a baby he stole that baby.
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Will Kane (@3rdand10) April 29, 2014****
How could Oklahoma botch an execution? If there’s one thing I would expect Americans to know how to do by now, it’s kill somebody.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 30, 2014When someone tells you to always give 100% remind them that Subway is only giving like 20 and they're super successful.
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Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 19, 2014
Best way to end the day
đ
Yay!….and congratulations on first!
I can always use a laugh. thx NW – way to go V24!
Glad you enjoyed them.đ
:cool::
wurst. furst.wimmin/smh
You!
You were the one who nudged me as I was about to step in! It figures.
yeaaaah, it’s always me.
Yes. I was only surprised because it’s been a while since you had stepped on my toe – I got complacent, I guess.
Thanks a gaaaaaazillion Nerdy, they’re a HOOT!!!!
Glad you like them, Chiparoooooooo!
I put in the Eurovision tweet especially for you. See? I’m nice even when you torture me with Eurovision performances.
I’m feeling NO Eurovision love here tonight, NONE! (That tweet is the funniest EVER!)
I’m on my 76th listen of this tonight
đ
I made it through ten seconds of “Cake to Bake” before I quickly reached for the “stop” button lest I fall into a seizure.
It’s like a bad dream you just can’t shake after waking up
Absolutely NO WAY will I click on that link ….đđđ
Do it Bob, it will make the world a sunny placeđ
NO.WAY.!!!!!đđ
DO. NOT. DO. IT. BOB.
The fate of the universe is hanging on you not being subjected to such horror.đ
O.M.G. Where do they find these people?!
This has been going on since 1974?!?!
The horror!!!!!
Since 1956!!!đ
Mr. Putin. Calling on Mr. Putin. I have a new region for you to invaaaaaaaaaade.
đ That was the funniest thing tonight Nerdy, every vote for Russia was greeted with ferocious boos in the arena.
The universe is eternally safe, NW!!! NO.WAY. will I touch that linkđđđđ
Three way tie … congrats vetivera for leading the packđ
Good selection, NWđđđđ
Time to ‘Bond’ ….
Thanks bobfr
God’s #gotohellmotherfuckers has me in serious pain!!!!
But I’m deeply offended by His Eurovision tweet.
If ever there was a reason needed for America seeking independence from your side of the Atlantic, Eurovision is it.
Oh snap NWđ
Now, that’ll leave a markđđđđđ
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…..
Next to the hatchback, the minivan is one of the world’s worst invention.
Careful. I drive one.đŚ
Seems to me it’d be simpler and cheaper not to give them your number at all.
That app is coming. From me.
Doesn’t worry me. Only about five people have my cell number and they know enough not to call me on it, or text expecting an immediate answer.đ
I just finish listening to FLOTUS speak to the graduates at Dillard University, and she did a great job.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Hahahahaha. So true. I once had six or so people going back and forth in my mentions for a week on some crap I didn’t give a hoot about. I almost blocked them after politely repeatedly telling them to remove my handle from the conversation and they didn’t comply.
Have had that experience, as well, NW. And, more than once resorted to just blocking them.
“Mississippi could soon be the first state without an abortion clinic. That means more Mississippians would be born. You can see the problem.”
Hahahaha – good one NW!
The Rams just became the team I will pull for in the NFC……. Drafted #2 overall Auburn LT Greg Robinson, #75 Auburn RB (SEC Offensive Player of the Year) Tre Mason (dad is in the group De La Soul) and pick #249 Michael Sam (SEC Defensive Player of the Year)
Old school:
Hey LP, I also think the Rams (when they were the Los Angeles Rams before moving to St. Louis) were the first NFL team to sign and play a Black guy as their #1 Quarterback. His name was James Harris. If he was not the first, he certainly was one of the earlier ones. It is true that the Stealers also signed and briefly played Joe Gilliam as their #1 quarterback in the early 70’s before Terry Bradshaw took over. So it’s possible that Joe Gilliam was the first Black NFL Quarterback before James Harris. Please don’t take my word for this as I am just basing it purely on my aging memory. When I get time I will look it up to be sure I have my facts right.
You would have a much better memory/knowledge going back that far(I just know Lynn Swan was awesome on my video games re Bradshaw 70’s Steelers…… The first Black QB I have memories of was Doug Williams of the Redskins….and Randall Cunningham(Eagles) …those were the anomalies at the time. Soon after that Dante Culpepper(Vikings) Steve McNair(Titans) Donovan Mcnab(Eagles) all early 90’s became a trend….then finally Michael Vick(Falcons) was the #1 pick in 98/99 I think, and it became the norm….
You have to wonder.
#IRONYAlert
hear hear bob – and his attempt at “reason” is so transparent. he’s basically just invading Ukraine.
That is what he has done, beginning with Crimea, Ukraine, Alice. Thank you
CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY…
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . …
“A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”
This post is getting very busy, will I do a new one with all my favorite Eurovision tunes?
Hello????? HELLO??
Dearest Chips, PLEASE. NO.!!!
That is a destination no one will want to visit, instead let’s do Destiny …
đĽ
đ
I just received a response from the President to your comment.đ
or how about something completely different from eurovision? like, an antidote!
For everyone who needs a laugh today–snow, ice, sunny skies or whatever. This is FUNNY even though some of us could be participants in this video.
WE WANT A EUROVISION THREAD. WE WANT A EUROVISION THREAD. WE WANT A EUROVISION THREAD.
not that I would ever enter that thread. evah.
trickery won’t get you anywhere.
Um, no. I have a thread coming up, one which I’m sure would be approved by Barack H. Obama.
I feel soooooooooo rejected.
Hey, HEY everyone!!
A local radio station did a series last week where they isolated just the vocals of rock/pop songs. MERCURY and BOWIE doing “Under Pressure” with all of the instrumentation cut out was UNBELIEVABLE. This IS my favorite duet! (Relax. I didn’t say THE BEST. I said my favoriteđđ . There’s MANY great duets we…y’all love.) THIS SONG. THE VOCALS WOW.
A little trip down memory lane:
idk wtf it sez, but there is eurovision in it.
The people’s president:
Thank you meta…..I never get tired of seeing these stories.
You’re so welcome. I think I’m in a very nostalgic mood lately. Callie Shell had been with him so long on the first campaign so she always has an insider’s view. Wonderful memories.
The first God tweet, NW? Well, uhm, GLORIOUS. Ha!
LL’s new post!
https://theobamadiary.com/2014/05/10/night-owl-chat-the-great-american-songbook-part-2/