“I don’t know who you are-” “I’m a goat.” “I don’t know what you want-” “Goat stuff.” “If it’s money you’re after-” “Nah, like hay & shit.”
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) July 23, 2025
*NASA Headquarters* Reporter- Why did you name the Mars rover Curiosity? Scientist- The prototype killed a shit ton of cats. Next question.
— Mattguyver (@shadygrenade) July 5, 2025
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Jesus: Those were the times when I carried you son Me: And when the vending machine ate my dollar? Jesus: That time you bought me a Snickers
— Mike F (@animaldrumss) November 4, 2025
how much would it cost? “the guy who does our estimates isn’t here right now” around what time will he be back? “did you not just hear me?”
— Brent (@murrman5) July 22, 2025
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