The Obama Diary

[cow at Starbucks] "Oh I'll just have a black coffee please" *winks at son*

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Jazmasta (@jazmasta) November 07, 2025

[by water cooler] jeff: I hate shoe shopping with my wife ben: I hate it more adam who controversially married an octopus: not as much as me

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Brent (@murrman5) November 06, 2025

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Just burned my mouth taking a sip of coffee, so, yes, I do understand what it's like when a loved one betrays you.

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caprice crane (@capricecrane) November 03, 2025

Folks, some shocking allegations coming across my facebook newsfeed http://t.co/66ycNvDyqE

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Danksgiving Turkey (@dankmtl) November 06, 2025

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"Stop calling me your roommate. I'm your husband and the father of your children." -My Roommate

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Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) June 11, 2025

*slowly presses Werther's original into your hand and forces your fingers closed around it* Shhhh, shh shh shhhh...I'm your grandpa now.

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Lazer Cat (@Laser_Cat) November 02, 2025

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Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now.

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Lazer Cat (@Laser_Cat) October 21, 2025

yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I'm Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof

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Dave Dittell (@davedittell) April 15, 2025

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it's impossible for me to justify raking leaves when i know these asshole trees are going to pull this exact same bullshit next year

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mustard (@nice_mustard) October 21, 2025

it's 1am where were you? work theres glitter on your shirt, were you at a strip club? [flashes back to doing crafts with phil] yes, im sorry

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Brent (@murrman5) November 02, 2025

"Today we offer our prayers and condolences to the parents and family of Abdul-Rahman Kassig." —President Obama http://t.co/FNhXxwj8Re

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The White House (@WhiteHouse) November 16, 2025

This is #KeystoneXL in a nutshell. (I still love Canada but come on) #NoKXL http://t.co/EAXmayOAVG

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Steve Marmel (@Marmel) November 15, 2025

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Pres. Obama is down under shirtfronting on climate change (that’s Aussie for kicking ass and taking names) http://t.co/FIzqw37vgx

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Matthew McGregor (@mcgregormt) November 16, 2025

U.S., EU override Australia to put climate change on G20 agenda reut.rs/1y4aBcJ

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Reuters Top News (@Reuters) November 16, 2025

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Lower oil prices are set to give the U.S. economy a multibillion-dollar boost nyti.ms/1xFPcIl http://t.co/1Fwo25fkwn

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The New York Times (@nytimes) November 16, 2025

Sales at U.S. retailers rose in October, snapping back from the first decline in eight months on.mktw.net/1ELkRKI http://t.co/5tAFO6oeqT

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  (@MarketWatch) November 14, 2025

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If Obama is already a lame duck president, no one seems to have told him nyti.ms/1vapLjA

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The New York Times (@nytimes) November 16, 2025

Republicans & MSM don't seem to realize President Obama hasn't been a conventional president. They expect him to be a conventional lame duck

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meta (@metaquest) November 15, 2025

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Big mac http://t.co/waikHjE7qP

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Keith M. (@ksecus) November 15, 2025

There is something wrong with this world http://t.co/Q9M6tjXN4A

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Alex Lee (@acl167) November 15, 2025

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See Republican heads explode when they read this Reagan quote on amnesty for immigrants http://t.co/OGr81aGZLZ

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ɹoʇɐuǝʌou (@novenator) November 14, 2025

President Obama isn’t in support of amnesty, you’re thinking of Saint Ronnie Reagan (VIDEO) addictinginfo.org/2014/11/15/oba… @GOP

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meta (@metaquest) November 16, 2025

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What people around the world see as the greatest danger pewrsr.ch/1vik4xT http://t.co/PwfDC87kaH

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Conrad Hackett (@conradhackett) November 14, 2025

#ThingsThatScareRepublicans Widely shared prosperity that empowers workers to negotiate on equal footing with employers

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  (@LOLGOP) November 16, 2025

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#YSEALI Fellowship will bring 500 exceptional young leaders from #ASEAN countries to the United States on an annual basis

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@NSCPress (@NSCPress) November 14, 2025

Immigration, Impeachment, And Insanity On The Republican Right nationalmemo.com/immigration-im… via @nationalmemo

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Denise Ingram (@leclemot) November 16, 2025

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GOP: Exec. order on immigration was obviously constitutional when Reagan and Bush did it. But if Obama does, impeach! huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/15/rea…

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Paul Begala (@PaulBegala) November 16, 2025

It'll be difficult for Republicans to reject executive action on immigration and not to be seen as anti-immigrant and anti-Latino.

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JORGE RAMOS (@jorgeramosnews) November 16, 2025

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We've only waited 6 years for the GOP to come up with an Obamacare alternative. Why not wait 10 more for their immigration plan?

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  (@LOLGOP) November 16, 2025

Obama move to shield immigrants from deportation has precedents; Reagan and Bush also did it: apne.ws/1yHFKmc

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AP Politics (@AP_Politics) November 15, 2025

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In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over.

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Loco Eric (@ericsshadow) November 16, 2025

did u guys know that if u put on a shirt that's 1 size bigger u feel like waaaaayyyy less fat? technology is amazing

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albro (@BromanConsul) November 04, 2025

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The way a dog reacts to fireworks is the same way I react when my phone rings.

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Noodles (@Dawn_M_) November 09, 2025

People camping out 3+ weeks before Black Friday is why aliens don't even bother visiting us.

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Rock (@TheMichaelRock) November 13, 2025

@TheMichaelRock true, they are looking for intelligent life.

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Jameskelly (@kejimkelly111) November 13, 2025

Merle Haggard: ‘It’s Criminal What They Do to Our President’: ow.ly/EjMYZ #tcot http://t.co/fNPIlMIcpC

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R.Saddler (@Politics_PR) November 15, 2025

This is the #BEST statement I have read about #OBAMACARE.. It does not get any better!! #stoprush #uniteblue #p2 http://t.co/MEn0jP8v82

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Boop (@B140Tweet) November 14, 2025

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This Barack Obama speech just makes me depressed about how poor our own political leadership is in comparison #G20Brisbane #ObamaUQ

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Peter Johnson (@P_Johnson9) November 15, 2025

The NRA tried to oust governors who signed gun safety laws after massacres in their states. They failed miserably: mm4a.org/1ugtGJu

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Media Matters (@mmfa) November 15, 2025

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"@dtmfman: @MsTrishia @MikeOatway1 http://t.co/xpko8eqQWf" Another #ASSHOLEoftheYEAR

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lawana gilbert- (@Kaygirl8Lawana) November 15, 2025

Mark Cuban is out here touting Ayn Rand to everyone while the public pays for 30 percent of his team's arena.

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Travis Waldron (@Travis_Waldron) November 13, 2025

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This says it all!!! http://t.co/aYjLrVEOE6

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Quantum Mechanic (@JamesEFinch) November 11, 2025

This is how I know I am in the wrong line of work: Tell me again, Who's lazy? #GOP #DEM #Congress #unemployment http://t.co/b0urjW5gld

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Thaddeus Howze (@ebonstorm) November 12, 2025

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Child prodigy Carson Huey-You, 11, starts first semester at college studying quantum physics buff.ly/1xdYWLg http://t.co/PwwjI2H2lX

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Mike Street (@MrMikeStreet) November 11, 2025

Elizabeth Warren warns: Corporations are taking over the courts with GOP’s help: ow.ly/3uh2hO #p2 #tcot http://t.co/0x3C071qGP

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R.Saddler (@Politics_PR) November 12, 2025

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Senator Ted Cruz complains about Net Neutrality on Twitter, a platform that might not even have existed if it weren't for Net Neutrality.

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Peter Rojas (@peterrojas) November 10, 2025

Minimum wage would be $25/hr if it grew like income of the top 1% motherjones.com/politics/2013/… http://t.co/5vRkGLNEN2

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Conrad Hackett (@conradhackett) November 15, 2025

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It appears HealthCare.gov is working, which will surely get as much coverage as last year, when it did not.

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Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) November 15, 2025

Crazy idea. Instead of trying to take insurance from the 10 million who've gained it, we try to cover the tens of millions who need it.

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  (@LOLGOP) November 15, 2025

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.@GOP a native american guy started working at the place I buy my grill equipment.I am sick of illegals taking our jobs ‘

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rob delaney (@robdelaney) November 15, 2025

The GOP hates Obamacare because it taxes the rich and the super rich to help working people get insurance. That's it. eclectablog.com/2014/04/why-th…

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  (@LOLGOP) November 15, 2025

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[accidentally grabs rat trap instead of condoms and looks at cute checkout girl] "excuse me miss, do you have these in extra large?"

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Brent (@murrman5) November 15, 2025

whenever i hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded i do one of my raps because I’m done paying for studio time

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philippe iujvidin (@philyuck) November 05, 2025